Czaro Strategic Communications

I remember going back-to-school shopping with my mother. I’d get some Fast Back tennis shoes from Anthony’s, new shirts and jeans from Froug’s, and notebooks from TG&Y. None of those stores are still around, but I have the memories.

Unfortunately, my kids don’t get to have the same experience. Instead I fought through a tax-free weekend and barely escaped an emotional breakdown while shopping for school supplies.

I don’t remember it being so hard when I was little, maybe because it wasn’t. Check out my daughter’s first-grade supplies list:

• 24 #2 pencils. And they must be sharpened. No wonder you need a large pencil box. First graders learn to write and do math, so I understand needing lots of pencils, but why does by daughter need…
• 20 small glue sticks. Are you serious? 20 – as in almost two dozen? And why not 10 large sticks? We do a lot of arts and crafts projects at Casa Simpson, but I don’t think I’ve bought 20 glue sticks in my entire life. And they must be Kidsticks (whatever that means).
• 3 boxes of Crayola Classic Color Crayons. Two boxes of washable Crayola markers (wide-line and fine-line). And an 8-color Crayola watercolor set. Don’t you dare buy Rose Art supplies – they are apparently forbidden. There might be a good reason for this (like Rose Art products being manufactured in China and Crayola products in the United States) but it’s not explained on the list.
• 1 pair of Fiskars scissors. I think I’ve discovered a trend. Fiskars are American-made as well. This isn’t just a school-supply list – it’s an economic stimulus package, and unsuspecting parents are just going with the flow.
• 1 box Hefty quart-sized sliding bags (manufactured in Lake Forrest, IL).
• 4 plastic pocket folders (NO brads): 1 each of red, yellow, blue and purple. My daughter only wants pink, so I had to buy five plus a permanent marker because I must “WRITE NAME ON INSIDE.”
• There are a few other items like tissues and a 70-count, wide-ruled spiral notebook. But the item that stuck out was one pair of headphones from the “Dollar Store.”

How well will a $1 pair of headphones work? Wait, is that what the 20 glue sticks are for – to put the cheap headphones back together?

I’m almost positive that my daughter will be sent home next Tuesday, and it will be totally my fault. I couldn’t find Kidsticks, so I bought Elmer’s glue sticks (made in China) and they’re purple instead of clear (because my daughter’s second favorite color is purple).

If my daughter gets set to the principal because I spent $5 on her headphones – bring on the parent-teacher conference. I’m ready.